People would often refer to my “new normal”.  I accepted this from them but was waiting for the time when I would return to my “old normal”.  For several months after the surgery I thought of myself as two people, my old self and my new self.  It took me a while to realize I was one person with varied experiences.

I don’t know that I will ever go back to my “old normal”, but I am slowly coming to terms with my new normal.  I am not unaware that this new normal for me could be much worse, not everyone lives through a stroke to walk and talk again, and for this I am grateful. 

A new normal for me is a slower life.  One where I don’t drive and depend on others much more than I did before.  I have the ability to walk although it is slower and I can’t turn corners so easily.  Head movement is something I struggle with on a daily basis. I still do not like inadvertent movement.  This comes mostly from someone shaking the place I am sitting (ie, they are bouncing their leg while sitting on the same couch),  riding in the car, walking, looking for items in the store, etc. This mostly results in my being very tired afterward. I have taken to wearing a travel pillow in the car and this seems to help car rides.  Occasionally I will feel like my head is moving when it is not moving at all. Rest is really the only cure for this. 

Another thing that is new and I hoped would go away but has not, is that sometimes when I lay my head down backwards I feel like I am in a dream falling with no end.  After about 30 seconds I recover from this and feel right again, but for that time it is not fun. For a few months after surgery it always happened when I lay my head back.  Now it will go away for months at a time and I think it is gone then it will reappear for a week or two and leave again. 

These days most everyone has had to adjust to a new normal, we are all social distancing in our own unique ways.  No one is sure how we will come out on the other side of this, but most likely different than we went into it. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  We are not the same after we go through trials but God is the same and hopefully I will be more like Him on the other side.